i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
