you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
