He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
