its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
