I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
