how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
