R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
