If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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