check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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