if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
