That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
