We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
