Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
