just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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