you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
