can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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