i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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