sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
