im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this boner is exhausting
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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