she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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