It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
