i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
