haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
