it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
