areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
