i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
