I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't turn off my feet"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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