I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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