Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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