I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
