we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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