somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
