Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
