If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
