the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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