i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
