she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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