PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Congratulations! We have a period
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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