i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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