I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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