THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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