Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
