i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I believe in your delicious
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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