wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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