I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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