i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dick very happy bro
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
