I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
