what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
