I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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