she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
