She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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