At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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